Hold The Rope.
My high school football coach, Bill Tribou, used this phrase constantly: "HOLD THE ROPE"
When things got tough in a game or practice, he'd remind us that we're a team. If one person quits early on a play, it becomes much harder for everyone else. The teams that win, he said, are the ones whose players have the mental toughness to grip tighter when it gets harder to hold on.
This applies beyond the football field. It's especially true on the "field" we compete on every single day: the one between our ears.
We're constantly playing a mental tug of war with ourselves, negotiating our way toward whatever outcome we deem important. The most successful people are pros at this game. They've built incredible mental grip strength and understand how to stay "in" whatever they're doing, even when it would be easier to quit.
How? Practice.
They know they'll win some and lose some, but like great teams, they learn from losses, work on weaknesses, and come back stronger. Peak performers constantly put themselves in situations where they'll be tested because that's where growth occurs.
The Key Most People Miss
It sounds straightforward, but here's what people often miss (myself included): If you want to work on your ability to hold the mental rope, you must put yourself in situations to actually hear your thoughts when going through discomfort.
I used to struggle with this when I first started running. Every single run, I'd have my headphones and music in. When the going got tough, instead of listening to my mind and negotiating with it (run to the next tree, thirty seconds hard then walk, a simple "you got this, Mike"), I'd change to a different song. I'd distract myself and try to push through.
This sort of worked to get me through the run, but it robbed me of the opportunity to strengthen my mental grip. Instead, I developed a crutch. To do a run, I needed to tune out with music and distract myself from... myself.
I recognized something was off when my runs entertained me with music or podcasts, but I'd finish more mentally exhausted than when I started. So I started doing some runs without any external distractions.
It wasn't easy at first, but now I can run ultramarathons without music and enjoy my own company.
Listening to music while working out isn't "bad." I still do it every week. It's just important to have times without the music or extra inputs (podcasts, books) so you have the opportunity to play the mental tug of war and build your capacity to hold the rope.
Beyond the Gym
The importance of this goes far beyond physical pursuits. In an ideal world, we're working out to become better versions of ourselves on multiple levels. When we block out our mental communication in the gym, it hurts more important areas of our lives outside of it.
I see this a lot with guys who identify as tough and successful in the office, gym, or boardroom but struggle with relationships at home. During a one-on-one emotional conversation, there's often no shield or distraction. It's you, your heart, your mind, and the other person.
If you don't have experience holding the mental rope and communicating effectively with yourself, you'll struggle to control your ego, leading to difficult conversations. Over time, you'll start to lose confidence in your ability to have these deep conversations and begin to avoid them.
Unfortunately, this subconscious, self-preserving avoidance often leads to things being left unsaid. Soon, resentment (the number one relationship killer) begins to infiltrate.
If this resonates with you, take a page out of Coach Tribou's playbook: Focus on developing your mental grip strength. Win the mental tug of war. Win your game of life.
