3 Lessons From Founders Only Retreat:

Last weekend I led a 90-minute connection workshop at the Founders Only Club retreat in Austin, Texas. It was the first session of the weekend, and guys had flown in from all over the USA to connect with each other. The event started off at by buddy Eric Hinman’s new house that was intentionally designed to cultivate connections and have people over with multiple saunas, cold plunges, and a central pool. Once the guys arrived they were walking into an unknown environment and got to decide fairly quickly the depth of experience they wanted to have that weekend.

I was recently at a talk where Jonathan Haidt spoke about human history and specifically, hive psychology.

He explained that humans aren't wired like a pack or cattle in a herd rather we're wired like bees in a hive. A collective structure where individuals work interdependently, regulating and restoring themselves through shared connection and purpose. Leadership and design can shift what the group believes is possible.

That was my intention during the opening 90 minutes workshop where we broke up into rotating small groups and had a list of guiding questions designed to help each guy build trust with the small group and gradually over 15 minutes the opportunity to be vulnerable and begin to forge a stronger connection.

It worked.

Here's what stuck with me:

We're not wired to go solo but we're conditioned to.

Somewhere along the way we decided that admitting struggle equals weakness. That asking for help means you're not cut out for this. It's a modern construct that runs counter to our evolution. We evolved to take down large prey animals together, but now we think we can beat the saber-tooth tigers in our minds alone.

Honesty spreads.

When one founder shared something real, it opened space for the next. Then the next. The group didn't need facilitation as much as it needed someone willing to go first. That's how hives work.

Most of us are out of practice.

These founders spend their days projecting confidence, having answers, keeping struggles private. Getting honest takes reps. The workshop wasn't just about connection, it was about practicing a different way of showing up.

I'm grateful to have been part of this hive, and proud of how these men showed up.

If you want to build this kind of connection in your team or community, reply to this email. I would love to speak with you.

With heart,

Mike